


she's a habit i can't handle

by bernietaupin



Series: london disasters (kingsman/bodyguard crossovers) [3]
Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018), Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Night Terrors, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, david is Just falling for eggsy, eggsy is already smitten, julia is dead obv but she shows up in dreams/nightmares, takes place before they've started dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 03:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18402356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bernietaupin/pseuds/bernietaupin
Summary: david can't let go of someone from the past. eggsy wants to help.





	she's a habit i can't handle

_ “Security comes from economic prosperity. From good education, good jobs. Together we can-” _

_ Smoke and flames erupted as the bomb exploded, halting the speech and sending people flying. David crawled through ash, rubble, and smoke on his bloody hands, calling out her name in a futile attempt to find her. To make sure she was okay. To make up for his mistakes. _

David jerked up in his bed, drenched in sweat, eyes filled with tears. His heart was pounding and his breathing was labored as he realized it was yet another night terror about Julia. They had been getting quite frequent and disruptive in the past few weeks and waking up alone in his tiny, dark flat certainly wasn’t helping.

David swiped his phone from the nightstand and fumbled with it, attempting to press the messaging app icon with a trembling finger. It opened to reveal his latest text conversation with his friend, Eggsy. They had met at a support group for veterans a few weeks back and had hit it off quickly, so David began texting him daily.

**eggsy i really need you right n**

David held the backspace key until what he had written was gone. No way in hell could he annoy Eggsy about this, he was probably dealing with his own stuff and didn’t need to be burdened with someone else’s issues. He placed his phone back on the nightstand and curled up, his body shaking with silent sobs until he fell back asleep.

David barely got through the week, the night terrors disrupting his sleep nearly every night. It almost felt like a routine at this point, something David had come to expect. However, he was still dead tired when he sat down with Eggsy at the coffee shop on Saturday before the support group meeting.

“David? Are you alright, mate?” Eggsy questioned as he watched David gaze sullenly into his cup. David snapped out of his trance and looked up at Eggsy, concern shining in his blue-green eyes. He processed Eggsy’s question for a second in his sleep-deprived haze before finally forming a coherent reply.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” He said nothing more as he took a sip of his coffee, but Eggsy pressed on.

“Those dark circles don’t lie. As someone who has plenty of sleeping problems, I know them when I see them. Please, you can tell me if something’s up,” he said, giving David a kind smile.

“Nothing’s  _ ‘up’ _ ,” snapped David. “I’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth. Eggsy dropped the subject, looking down at his own drink with a hurt expression. David immediately felt like a complete dickhead. Eggsy’s concern really warmed his heart, it did, but David couldn’t bring himself to share his problems with Eggsy. He had already ruined one relationship with his mental issues, he didn’t want to ruin another one, especially one with someone as great as Eggsy.

*

The week after David’s small outburst, he unintentionally cut himself off from Eggsy. David laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling as his phone buzzed with incessant texts and phone calls from Eggsy. He almost couldn’t even hear the buzzing over his own thoughts.

_ “It’s your fault,”  _ snarled a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Julia’s.  _ “You’re the reason she died. If you had just known, if you had just been better, you could have saved her. You’re a worthless failure.” _

David’s intrusive thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

“David!” called a familiar voice through the door. “It’s me, Eggsy! Please open up.” David got up and trudged over to the door. As soon as he opened it, Eggsy pulled him into a tight hug. “Oh my god, David, you scared me so bad. I was shit-scared when you wouldn’t answer my calls, I’m glad you’re okay.” Eggsy let go and looked at David, smiling feebly. David could see traces of tears in Eggsy’s eyes. Eggsy looked David up and down, taking in his loose grey sweatpants, wrinkly t-shirt, unkempt hair, and stubbly face. “Jesus, bruv, you don’t look so great,” said Eggsy, a hint of worry in his voice. 

“Thanks,” is all David said in reply, turning and walking towards his couch, gesturing for Eggsy to follow.  David slumped down on the worn-out sofa and Eggsy sat next to him, moving as close as he could without invading David’s personal space.

“David, I know you don’t wanna tell me what’s buggin’ ya, and that’s fine.” He sighed. “But can I at least stay here with ya? For support? We can order food from a takeaway place nearby and watch some movies together, yeah?” Eggsy placed his hand on David’s shoulder, and David nodded slowly, a weak smile on the edge of his lips.

They got Chinese food from a close restaurant and sat together, eating and watching a movie. They had decided on  _ Sing! _ , since David could really use a feel-good movie and Eggsy insisted on that one. As the movie played out on screen, Eggsy rested his head on David’s shoulder. David’s heart raced and his negative thoughts melted away momentarily as he moved himself closer to Eggsy, wrapping an arm around him.

By the end of the film, Eggsy had fallen asleep on David and was now snoring softly. David checked the time and, upon seeing that it was late, got up without disturbing Eggsy and got himself ready for bed. Happy thoughts about Eggsy floated around his head as he drifted off to sleep.

*

_ David found himself standing face to face with Eggsy and Julia in the same place Julia had died. _

_ “But Julia, you’re-” David sputtered out in shock. _

_ “Yes, David, I am. And if you’re not careful,” Julia said dryly, putting her hand on Eggsy’s shoulder. “He will be too.” On cue, the room they were in was blown apart with the force of an explosion, and David once again found himself searching for someone. This time, it was Eggsy. He called out his name, hoping to God he could save just one person. _

_ “David! David!” he heard Eggsy call from a distance. _

David sat up with a shock. He was in his flat, in his bed, and Eggsy was standing over him, his hands on David’s shoulders to steady him.

“David? Oh my god, are you okay?” Eggsy said, wrapping his arms around him. David buried his face into Eggsy’s neck and began to cry, still breathing heavily from the nightmare. “David…?” Eggsy said softly.

“Thank God you’re alive,” David said, squeezing Eggsy even tighter just to make sure.

“Yeah, of course I’m alive,” Eggsy said, chuckling with concern. “I heard you calling my name, I thought you were hurt or somethin’.” They stayed in a silent embrace for a little while, David holding onto Eggsy for dear life, tears soaking into the collar of Eggsy’s shirt. His grip loosened a bit and he finally spoke.

“Night terror,” David said, shakily.

“What?”

“It was a night terror, Eggsy. I dreamed that you and Julia were there, and that you guys died, and it was all because of me and I couldn’t save you from-” he cut himself off and pulled himself away from Eggsy. “You probably think I’m some kind of freak, screaming in the night like that and having dreams about you.”

“No, no, David, I get those too.” Eggsy smiled reassuringly. “Terrible recurring dreams about Harry, about my old boss, about my family. My mum and sister actually had to move out because, because the screams were too much,” he confessed. “But I guess that’s just one of the many perks of being a vet, innit?” Eggsy said, raising his eyebrows and flashing a grin. David laughed weakly at his joke, looking up at Eggsy, noticing  _ something _ in his eyes that he hadn’t noticed before. Love?  _ No, _ David thought.  _ There’s no way. _

“Alright, well, I’m gonna head back home for the rest of the night. But just know you can always call or text me if you need something, yeah? I know you kind of have a stick up your arse when it comes to asking for help, but I promise that you can count on me, mate.”

“Thank you,” is all David said as Eggsy gave his arm one last squeeze and left. As the door clicked shut and he heard Eggsy’s footsteps grow more and more distant, David thought about what had just happened. His feelings towards Eggsy. What  _ were _ his feelings? David was sure that Eggsy only thought of him as a friend, but something about the way he reacted to David’s night terror told him otherwise. Regardless, he was thankful to have someone like him in his life right now.

**Author's Note:**

> so like....this is my first shot at real angst ig  
> i want to add more but i don't necessarily have a plan outlined so i'll just add more chapters if i write more. u know how it is  
> also damn i keep pumping out eggvid fics...i'm a fast writer so hopefully i'm at least not writing shitty stuff


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